Saturday, February 19, 2005

Tomorrow, I'll Quit

I have a place in my heart for those poor souls who get mixed up with drugs. I am a person who has wrestled with smoking along the way, and though I finally won the battle, I can relate. I know that smoking will kill me. It almost did kill me. So I am gonna choose to live, love my kids, watch my grandkids grow up, have a lovely marriage, be loved and support my sweetheart as long as I possibly can. I am lucky to have many wonderful things to live for.

But some people get into those bad habits, snortin’ coke, smokin’ crack, shooting heroin, drinkin’ heavy, and they just plain can’t quit, for one reason or another. As hard as it was to quit smoking, I feel sorry for them. I wish they could have wonderful things in their lives to live for too, something, to help them escape addiction.

I have had one person in my life, a musician friend, who has struggled with drugs almost all of his adult life. Never mind that he is one of the most gifted guitarists I have ever met. He can’t quit doing drugs, or at least, hasn't yet. I love this person, but I have had to let him go.

I was there when he was cuttin’ up the coke. I was there when barely a thing he said made sense. I was there when he called and was so high I felt I had to go to him, in case he needed help.

I was there when he started drinking yet again, after succeeding at a “12 step” style program for quite a long time. We were at a gig. Standing in the bar, he tossed his “30 days sober” key chain onto the top of the cigarette machine. He had been sober much longer than that, but still carried the key chain which celebrated his first month sober. I grabbed it, and still have it.

It was around 1985 when I experienced that moment, and soon after that, I wrote a song titled “Tomorrow, I’ll Quit”. I recorded it and let it lie for years. Another friend of mine, who, coincidentally, has had his own substance abuse problems, mentioned that he thought it was a strong song. I decided to record it again.

A clip of “Tomorrow, I’ll Quit”, from my CD "Who Come Down?" can be heard by clicking here. And thank you to the folks at 12stepradio.com, who have placed the song in rotation on their 24/7 radio station.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is amazing! I'm sitting here at work going into random web sites. We'll I clicked on yours. First of all I also live in Portland, OR. More Tigard. That's why I decided to read your blog. I was a horriblely addicted to Meth for years. I'v been sober for 3 years! I'm so glad that I'm out of it. I still remember the day I decided to clean up. I went to my parents house hoping to get money. My mom sat me down and look right into my eyes and said "I never thought I'd fall out of love with daughter" I'v never felt so much pain in my life. I relized what this drug was doing to me and checked my self into rehab. I'v been clean ever since. Never had a relaspe. I hope your friend comes around a relizes how much he's messing up his life. Be strong! Thank's for the read it really touched my heart that someone cares that much. Most people look at addicts as scum, when really they need understanding and compassion.