Saturday, April 09, 2005

Bible Scholar By Default

Every once in awhile, my perfect wife Marie and I will be having a discussion, and something will come up regarding God or Jesus or some biblical stuff. When I dazzle her with my biblical knowledge, she goes on about it, like I am some sort of Good Book Whiz. Having never been much of a church-goer, I find this fascinating. I really have no good answer for how I picked this stuff up, save one.

When I was growing up, my dear friend and next door neighbor Roland, whom I looked up to like a brother, was a very religious guy. Today, in fact, he is pastoring, as he has done for many years. Roland, though older, and very popular, took me under his wing like a little bro, for which I will be forever grateful. Surely much of what I learned about the Bible came from Rol, just hanging with him, attending “Youth For Christ” rallies, and in general conversation with a future minister. At some point, after one of Marie’s Biblical knowledge outbursts, I told her, “honey, I dunno, I guess I am just a “Bible scholar by default.”

Bible Scholar By Default
Ric Seaberg

My mother used to tell me that religion is a joke
“Religion is the opiate of ignorants” she’d poke
But you were one great neighbor!, whose ignorance was bliss
And just by being friends with you I picked up that and this:

Oh, Mary was a virgin..... Joseph was her man
Jesus was a carpenter but he had larger plans
You said “There’s a higher power
We should worship and exalt!”
And that’s how I became
A Bible Scholar By Default

We’d go pickin’ berries in the summer for some bread
Workin’ down the rows you’d tell me “Jesus raised the dead!
Cleansed the sinners! There’s a record of it on a scroll!”
And maybe I should take Lord Jesus into my own soul

Oh, Mary was a virgin..... Jesus without sin
Judas was the knucklehead who turned The Saviour in
When you take his name in vain, you risk a thunderbolt
No “Jesus Christ!!!!” when you’re
A Bible Scholar By Default

So thank you for your kindness, and teaching me the words
Mother was a sweetheart but her vision slightly blurred
Cuz I became a Christian, underneath the Monkeypod
As you recited passages about the Lamb of God

Oh, Mary was a virgin, when Jesus came to Earth
(I still have reservations when it comes to virgin birth)
But you were there to guide me as we sipped a shake or malt
And helped me to become
A Bible Scholar By Default
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